Let Me Just Say... Dreams aren't easy.

But they're worth believing in.

I have a dream. I do. We all do. At least I hope we all do or it'd be sad to know that we have nothing to aspire to. Nothing to believe in. Nothing to hope for. No reason to keep on breathing.

I like to write. I enjoy it. Actually, I love it. I write when I can and when I'm inspired. Like now, with this blog post. I don't know if anyone out there reads it. I hope people do, but if they don't, then that's fine. I just take comfort in knowing that I can write it and enjoy that process.

I am 31 years old. Only two years ago I realised what it is that I would like to do with my life, though now that I'm here, it's easy to look back on the years and see that the answer should've been obvious from the start. They say hindsight is a wonderful thing. 'They' didn't lie.

Looking back, it's now clear that the path my life should have taken. The direction in which I should have headed was always there, just waiting for me to choose the right side of the fork in the road. But it's better to figure it out now than later. Or even worse, not at all. If I look back on my years in drama class, that playwrighting award I won when I was 16, the stories I enjoyed writing in High School - I'd find that they were all speaking to me, even if it was just in a whisper.

If I could write a letter to my 16 year old self, I would, just to let me know not to study at 'that' university just because my mother wanted me to. Or do do 'that' course because it seemed interesting. If I could do it over, would I do a different course? Probably. But then, if I did it over, who's to say I'd be where I am today? Every choice and chance I've taken in life has led to another choice and another, which has led me to where I am now.

And now, I'm working on my dream. I'm wondering if I'm too old to study, while looking up courses online to study here in Canada or in London, England. I lived there before and I miss it horribly. It wasn't until the last few months of my time there that I realised what I wanted in life. If I knew before, I would've studied writing while there. London has a great theatre scene and that's what I'd like to do - write plays. I've written a couple, but not done anything with them. Namely, I'm not sure that they're interesting enough, though I can only hope they are.

So that's my dream. I'm not sure what yours is - starting a business, owning a home, having a family, or even something as simple as being happy - but may you find the strength and courage to go out there and achieve it.

Procastination is not my friend, though it likes to think we are. Too much time has been spent hanging out with procrastination over the years. I need new friends. New friends like 'Inspiration', 'Belief', 'Perserverance' and 'Hope'.

They seem like a pretty cool gang to hang out with.

Let Me Just Say... I have overdosed on episodes of 'Grey's Anatomy'.

No, really, I have.

The past few weeks - due to my unemployment -I have been catching up on my 'Grey's Anatomy'. A show I loved when it originally started some years ago. However, due to the fact that I keep living in different cities around the globe, my television viewing over the last 4 years or so, has been rather sporadic. Very jumbled up. I'd watch episodes of T.V. shows and kind of know what was going on. But only kind of.

Sure, the basic storyline would make sense, but the background information seemed to be lost on me. The ins and outs of the characters personal lives. This made only some sense and for the most part, left me wondering what on earth was going on and what I'd missed.

I switched on the television about a month ago and saw that 'Grey's Anatomy' was on. Now, I know this show isn't for everyone, my own sister doesn't enjoy watching it and by her own account 'could never get into it'. But me, I love it. I enjoy it. I could sit here all day and watch episode after episode.

Which, dare I say it, is basically what I've done.

I have watched 3 and a half - count them, 3 and a half! - seasons of 'Grey's Anatomy' these past few weeks. I have seen characters come and go and die. So much death. I have seen the hospital change names from 'Seattle Grace Hospital' to 'Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital'. I mean, honestly, who has time to pronounce that?

It's rather odd that so many of these men at this 'hospital' are so good looking. I used to work at a hospital. I don't remember there being this many good looking people - men or women - walking the halls. I also don't remember this much nookie going on behind the scenes! But alas, this is Hollywood.

Speaking of the good looking men, here's a picture I took a couple of years ago at the premiere of 'Made of Honor' at a London hotel. It's Patrick 'Dr McDreamy' Dempsey. Don't ask me how I managed to get this photo. I've still no idea. Every time I look at it, I'm in awe. The fact is, I couldn't see him well from where I was standing - behind about 10 paparazzi - so I just lifted my digital SLR camera in the air, hoped to God it would focus on Patrick and not blurr and then I snapped, heard the click, then waited patiently for 5 seconds to pass, so I could review the photo, only to find that he ignored all the paparazzi and looked directly at me. Me! Just some fan.

The result is below. It is still, to this day, one of my top 5 photos I took in my years of meeting celebrities, if not, my number one shot...



I find it odd that there's a McDreamy and a McSteamy, but when an actual Scottish actor enters the mix, he's not given a 'Mc' name. Granted, he does do a pretty damn mean American accent! Thankfully, Dr Owen Hunt, played by Kevin McKidd, seems to have covered that base with his actual real surname!

I also find his character to be the most interesting on the show. It's not Grey, or Little Grey. It's not Dr Shepherd, the world class neurosurgeon. It's not slutty Sloane or the stand-offish Christina Yang (whom I've actually taken a liking to as the episdoes go on). No, my favourite character is definitely Dr Owen Hunt. The tormented yet compassionate man who spent years serving his country in Iraq only to come back and find love in a fellow Seattle Grace Mercy West Doctor. He`s the number one character to watch. On my list at least.

Plus, if I may be shallow for just a minute, he's pretty damn hot! (I am sorry to have taken to objectifying you, Mr McKidd).

But now it seems I've finally caught up on my 'Grey's Anatomy' that I've nothing left to do except sit here and idly wait for this weeks episode to air. I'm trying to be patient about it. But it's not easy. I've think I've become a 'Grey's Anatomy' addict. This isn't good news. I'm like the junkie who thinks the needle will bring the fix, but all it brings is more pain and desperation and lost hope.

Oh My God!!! It's just television!

But alas, I've watched so much 'Grey's Anatomy' the past week that if someone collapsed infront of me, I think I'd have to perform a coronary surgery, or even neurosurgery.

Oh, and by the way, I'm pretty sure I could! Scalpel...