Especially when you're out there on your own.
A friend of mine that I got to know in the few months before I left Australia recently jetted out on her own journey in the hopes of seeing the big wide world - in particular, the Grand 'ol US of A - and is finding it a little more difficult than she had hoped.
I know she has the strength within her to make her dreams a reality and to stick with it, but it's not as easy as it seems. She's the same age as I was when I first left home to travel the world - the elusive 21. When anything you dare to dream could possibly happen, and if you're willing and able, it's very likely you might just see it all become a reality.
But then, once it does, is it what you hoped it'd be?
Travelling has changed me. This much I know. I'm quite glad I never settled down and married at 25 as some of my friends did. The person I was then compared to the one I am now, is very different. I used to plan things out - everything - down to a tee. My first trip overseas was planned to the day. To the DAY! If you asked me where I was going to be on a particular day in my 11 months overseas, I could've told you. I knew exactly what hostels, cities and sights I'd be taking in. That is the first and last trip I ever planned so completely.
I'm much more relaxed and easy going these days. I've opened my eyes, I've allowed people in, I've experienced new cultures. I've realised that the small stuff isn't really worth sweating. I've learnt that if you're walking around breathing, you're having a good day, so please, don't be complaining. Least of all to me. I've learnt that deep breaths help you see clearer. I've also learnt that no one leaves here alive, so there's no point in worrying about the things you cannot change nor have any control over.
My friend, she appears to be struggling. I don't speak with her as often as I'd like and I know I'm to blame for that one. How can I call someone a friend when little effort is made on my end - a reassuring sentence or two on a status update hardly seems to cut the mustard of true friendship, no? But yesterday, as I read her blog post, I took the time to write her the following reply.
It's not just for her, it's for all the travellers out there. All the one's who dared to dream and spread their wings in the hopes that they'd fly. It's for all the ones who are struggling and finding that sometimes life, it's just not really what you thought it'd be like.
You can read my response here. I'm sure it resonates than just this one traveller friend of mine -
There is something so deep we learn about ourselves as we take that step into the great unknown. What we thought we knew, understood or even accepted as fact before, are quite quickly, proven different.
What we had come to accept as part of our beings - our strengths and our weaknesses - becoming merely a stepping stone and a learning experience. We are taught patience, understanding, acceptance. We are taught to open our eyes, appreciate new cultures and most importantly, we are taught to breathe deeply. All the while with an aching in our hearts as we know that what we thought we weren't going to miss and were ready to leave behind, suddenly come to the surface and we realise all too quickly, we may have gotten ourselves in for more than we bargained for.
Sometimes in life, the thing we had been hoping for and waiting for and dreaming of suddenly arrives... and we learn it's not at all like what we expected or wanted. It is then we truly appreciate what we had and silently promise to never take it for granted again.
'Careful what you wish for, you may regret it. Careful what you wish for... you just might get it'.
As the days pass, it gets easier. But travelling, being away from home, from loved ones, from common comforts - it's really not for everyone. You will learn more about yourself in your time alone, your time overseas, than you ever thought, imagined, or even hoped you could. I find that technology nowadays makes things so much easier. Skype for example, makes it seem like the person is only 12 blocks away, not 12000 kilometres. Granted, there is something about the human touch that makes the connection all that more special.
When the days are tough - and they will be, remember one thing. When the mountain is too steep to climb - and it will be, remember one thing. When the rain is falling and the fog is affecting your view - and it will, remember one thing. When your eyes are closed and your heart is aching - and it will, remember one thing... if it all comes to much too bare, home is only a plane ride away.
Until then, my advice to you is what it has been from the week before you left... 'A ship in a harbour is safe, but that is not what ships are built for'.
May you open your eyes, expand your heart, take that leap and be willing to learn more about yourself than you ever dreamed possible.
Deep breaths.
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